Questions I Say People Always Ask Me That Truthfully No One Has Ever Asked Me

  • How are you still single?
  • How do you stay so fit?
  • What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty basement like this one?
  • What gets you off?
  • Where do you get your tongue-in-cheek wit?
  • Whose tongue is in your cheek?
  • Would you like to go on a date?
  • How’d you know I LOVED Frangipane!?
  • Do people hit on you after comedy shows a lot?
  • How can I be more like you?
  • Wow, you’re so literate for a math major! (This isn’t a question per se, but I didn’t major in English so I don’t really know things about punctuation).
  • How do you do it all?
  • Can you pass the marmalade
  • Can I also have it all?
  • Who does your hair?
  • Are you my mommy?

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