Other Awards and Honors Oprah is Honestly Too Good For

Oprah looking honestly too good for this occasion

At last night’s Golden Globes, Oprah Winfrey became the first black woman to ever receive the Cecil B. DeMille Award. It was a wonderful moment, and she gave a speech so powerful that it overshadowed the rest of the ceremony so that, instead of the Golden Globes, the occasion became a very special episode (weren’t they all?) of the Oprah Winfrey Show.

As inspiring and rousing as her speech was, as well-deserved as the award was, I couldn’t help but think: isn’t Oprah…better than the Golden Globes? Isn’t Oprah winning a Golden Globe kind of like a community college giving an honorary degree to…Oprah? Isn’t Oprah better than…every award? Isn’t Oprah herself the prize in any given situation? So, without further ado, here’s a list of other honors Oprah obviously deserves but is honestly too good for.

  1. Another Academy Award
  2. A Pulitzer Prize
  3. The National Book Award
  4. A MacArthur Genius Grant
  5. An Olympic Gold Medal (any sport)
  6. The Great American Gardener Award
  7. The CFDA Swarovski Award for Emerging Talent
  8. Winner of MTV’s “The Challenge: Vendettas”
  9. Global Ambassador for L’Oreal Paris
  10. Best in Show
  11. The U.S. Presidency
  12. Head of Parliament (any country)
  13. Prime Minister (any country)
  14. Supreme Leader of North Korea
  15. The Nobel Peace Prize
  16. Queen of Earth
  17. King of the Universe
  18. Editor-in-Chief of Little Old Lady Comedy (it’s yours if you want it, O!)

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