I’ve finally figured it out: I really can dance, and you all have just been messing with me this whole time.

I’ve loved to dance for a long time. I can dance to anything. Hip hop, rock & roll, bluegrass, rap, EDM, BDSM, etc. If there’s a beat, I can dance to it. But for an equally as long time as I’ve loved dancing, I’ve had people laughing at me. Making fun of the way I do it.

I’d always heard, Dance like no one’s watching. So I did. The problem was, people were watching. You might be thinking, that’s the point of the “like” in “like no one’s watching,” right? It’s not like anyone’s gonna point and laugh and make sure you know without a doubt that they actually are watching, right? Wrong.

As many of my good friends and Instagram followers know, I’ve taken a wide range of dance classes. It’s inspiring to be around talented dancers. But until this moment I always saw myself as being outside the circle, so to speak, and not quite as talented as the others. And that’s probably because my modern dance teacher told me I was “literally outside the circle, and not quite as talented as the others.” But then I realized it’s all been one big practical joke. I really can dance. I’m actually really, really good.

With that said, I’m still a little confused over why this joke has gone on for so long. Is it that funny to knock down someone’s self-confidence over and over again? And how is everyone in on it? How did the kids who dance in the subways in New York know about this extremely prolonged practical joke when I auditioned for them, and why did they go so far as to take my wallet afterwards?

I guess I shouldn’t dwell too much on the how or why. It’s comforting enough to know that yes, I really, truly am a natural dancer with years of experience under my belt. I just can’t help but wish that maybe some of you didn’t laugh at me when my wife and I danced at our wedding. She hasn’t danced with me in public since.

You might be asking yourself how exactly I figured it out. After all these many, many years of being lied to, how did I put it all together? It was simple: I saw that YouTube video of that really awesome dancer, the high school kid, being told by his peers, “Dead ass, that was some sick shit, man.” “Damn, bro, that was bad.”

People have been saying stuff sort of like that to me my whole life. I just didn’t get the joke.

I quit my job, finally. Between work and class at Broadway Dance Center, there’s just not enough time to focus on my upcoming audition. I’m finally gonna chase my dream of being a part of The Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. And yes, I’m aware that the company might be in on the joke. The difference is, I’m in on it too, now. So get ready, world. Soon enough, I’m gonna be laughing along with you.