Five Instagram Posts to Let People Know You’re Fuckable AND Down to Earth!

Ladies, get real. It’s tough to curate a perfect Instagram account. You want your followers to know you’re fuckable but like, fun and humble too. You’re not just some chick with a sick body and cute face; you’re actually super down to earth. Here are some post ideas that will let your followers know how hot AND cool you are!

  1. You in a red ballgown with a half eaten Dominos pizza on your chest.

So what?! You went to a gala to raise money for Save the Children at the Hilton and you wore a backless silk crimson ballgown that accentuated your tits. Anything for charity. But honestly, it was a long night of philanthropy, so you straight up NEEDED a personal pizza to unwind. And yeah, you’re an egoless hottie, so if crumbs or cheese fall into your cleavage, so be it. You’ve got an Instagram post that says, “Hey, I’m a giving lover, plus, my metabolism is ridiculous, so ask me to Dominos, and I’m there bitch.”

2. You poolside in a bikini, smoking a joint, reading A Farewell to Arms.

It’s summer. It’s hot, so no shame in showing off that pristine physique. You clearly work out, and have the stamina to bang all night, but wow, you’re also PRETTY CHILL about being a pothead. Not to mention, you fuck with Hemingway, because so WHAT if you effortlessly relate to the alcoholic male perspective? You’re not just an average poolside ho. You’re a Snoop Dogg level stoner with a lust for mediocre high school lit. This post absolutely screams “Girlfriend material.”

3. You in a see-through romper surrounded by Kindergarteners.

Yeah, you look nude, and that camel toe wasn’t an accident. You’re for sure a wild minx of a bedmate, but damn girl, we had no IDEA you volunteered at the Y every Saturday morning! Fingerpainting, printmaking, AND papier mache with 4 year olds? Look at all those kids laughing and clinging to your flawless paint covered body like you’re their mom! This post says, “Hey, I’m DTF, but don’t worry, I’ll be DTF even after I use my child bearing hips to birth a litter of hot kids.”

4. You pouting because you got doused in Budweiser at an NFL game.

Aw man! Your toned body is soaking wet from that fan that spilled beer all over you. Your white t-shirt is clinging to your torso and it looks like you’ve been weeping in the stands. Adorable. But let’s not forget, you’re at a FOOTBALL game. What?! You’ll have your followers thinking, “This girl is COOL! She drinks and knows what second down is? If that’s true, she probably tailgates and plays fantasy football. I HAVE to meet her.” Nailed it!

5. You in your bra getting your stomach pumped.

Yeah, you woke up in the E R wearing nothing but a black lace bra. NICE! What a wonderful opportunity to show off your impeccable breasts. But hold up. Check out that IV strapped to your perfectly muscular arm, not to mention that suction tube parting your rosy, albeit crusty and worn lips. It’s like saying, “Hey world! I’m a hottie with a weekend drinking problem, but like, YOLO.” You’ll have people saying, “Man, that hot girl could of died, but she’s got such a chill sense of humor about it.”

There you have it ladies! Hopefully these post ideas will help make your Instagram account a place where people can go to admire your body and your casual, unpretentious personality. Happy posting!

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