Honest Podcast Salutations

I am a podcasting lady.
  • Hey listener.
  • Hello to myself and cohost when we edit this at a later time.
  • Hey to the Apple employee who listens to this when it’s flagged for inappropriate content.
  • How’s it going, Mom?
  • Thanks for tuning in, ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend who’s trying to scope out if I’m cooler than her (I’m not).
  • Is anyone out there?
  • Just want to give a shout-out to my awesome mother! I’m not embarrassed to admit publicly that I’m a momma’s boy, especially since she’s the only person listening.
  • Is it just me or is solitary confinement even more boring than it used to be?
  • You’re probably looking for a different, more popular podcast with a similar name. We intentionally named this podcast “S-Village,” to amass downloads for people looking for, ya know, something else. This podcast is similar to “S-Town,” except it’s entirely about burritos.
  • Hello to my kids 20 years in the future when they decide it’s time to find out if mom was ever cool (she wasn’t).
  • This isn’t the podcast where I bring on men I’ve slept with. That’s not to say I didn’t invite them, they just didn’t come.
  • Thanks for tuning in, and Venmo me for the $3 I promised you!
  • Hello, mirror.
  • Mom!!
  • Hey to our one guest if they decide they want to know how their voice sounds in a mic.
  • Grandpa, I’m proud of you for getting the iPhone working!
  • Hey, Marcy, yes, now that you’ve downloaded it and hit ‘play,’ you can stop listening. Thanks for being a good friend.
  • I’m telling ya, Trump, I know you love the news but there’s better content out there.
  • Hey listeners! Tweet at me if you’re not my mom! (an hour later) Oh, ok, no new tweets. Cool. Hey, Mom.
  • Shout out to my whole college improv team!
  • Mom are you still there?
  • Mom, can you donate another $10 to my Patreon?
  • Bye Mom.

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