My Relationship Status Expressed Through My Twitter


RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: eating ice cream, watching Riverdale, thinking about my ex.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: just downloaded Tinder.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: just deleted Tinder

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: just downloaded Tinder again.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: I got 4 likes on my last tweet, so no one will ever love me.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Cute barista gave me extra whip. Love seems possible.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Oh, I forgot I ordered extra whip. I’M A MONSTER.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: I got 8 likes on that tweet, so my chances are up.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: I’ve just been given 280 characters. I have no idea what to say in 280 characters, so what could I possibly say on a date? What kind of loser am I to have to ask TWO questions to the twitterverse just to fill out 280 characters?

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: My 280 characters have been revoked. I must be too boring.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: or maybe it’s because I used the word “twitterverse.”

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Honestly they shouldn’t give anyone 280 characters this shit is awful.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: My ex is single again.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Still blocked on Facebook.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Went on a fun tinder date! Will probably be ghosted.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: He hasn’t texted in 12 hours.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: I’m married, sorry I haven’t tweeted in awhile. Are people still using Twitter?

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