As My Friend, You Should Also Burn That Bridge

I’m a sweet kind loving friend.

Hey, friend. Yeah, I know, I had a falling out with Dana. She’s a real bitch, you know? And now yes it’ll be awkward when I run into her at kickball, but I don’t care. I think it was worth it to say what I needed to say to her. All I ask of you, my friend, is that you also tell her you don’t like her. You should also feel uncomfortable being around her and try to avoid her at all costs. After all, that’s what friends do.

You agreed with me when I told you I hated Dana! And you said it was a good idea to call her out for her ridiculous behavior. But now you’re saying you don’t support me calling her out? Oh, you “support me” but you’re not going to do it yourself? That’s really rude, you know? As my friend, my friend who SUPPORTS me, you need to also burn that bridge. Come on — it’s just good manners.

Ok, yes, I know Dana’s your sister. But that doesn’t mean you have to speak to her. Just block her on Facebook like I asked you to. She’ll still give you a blood transfusion or a kidney later on if you need one. But just don’t be her friend, ok? Because you’re my friend. And I expect you to take my side on this.

You still haven’t blocked Dana on Facebook? I think I’ll just be friends with her again, honestly, she’s a bitch, but she’s at least willing to support me in not being friends with you. Sorry you’re uninvited to Thanksgiving, I’ll eat a lot of stuffing for you NOT.

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