12 Power Moves for Women in the Workplace

  1. Don’t empty the dishwasher. Ever.
  2. Make direct eye contact and smile demonically 😈.
  3. Volun-tell Mark to organize the holiday potluck.
  4. Don’t bring shit to the holiday potluck.
  5. Stand at the back of every meeting even when there are plenty of seats available.
  6. Nod knowingly with a loud “Mmmm…” whenever anyone speaks.
  7. Drop in on meetings you weren’t invited to, then leave abruptly when someone is mid-sentence.
  8. Catch Jeff as he’s leaving for lunch, and ask him to order you a very complicated custom salad.
  9. Describe things as being “on a high level,” so they know you’re that bitch.
  10. Schedule meetings at 8, and then don’t show up until 9.
  11. Slack your team that you need to push back that meeting, creating a domino effect that tanks everyone’s day.
  12. Take a shit in the men’s room.

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