- Finding half a rat sewn into my sweater
- Discovering notes from unpaid workers describing slave labor sewn into my pants.
- Buying a classic white button down shirt, then bringing it home to discover it is backless.
- My entire cardigan disintegrating into little gray fuzz balls on first wear.
- Black dye from my fringe denim bleeding onto and permanently staining my white couch.
- Getting stabbed by the zipper on my leather pants and bleeding actual blood.
- Getting a nasty rash from my embroidered faux fur coat.
- Finding out from a coworker that my lace culottes are partially see-through (Thanks Mark).
- My pleather pants ripping down the butt when I bend over to pick up my purse.
- My party top melting at the touch of an iron.
- My anorak melting in the rain.
- Never understanding why there are random buttons on everything.
- Never being sure of when to wear my jogging trousers or printed palazzo trousers.
- Generally being unsure of what trousers are (are they the same as pants?).
- Finding out that Ivanka had something to do with the business side.
- Accepting that I might not need to wear statement pieces to my 10 person startup’s coworking space.
- Realizing I can’t pull off any of these bell-sleeves, cut-outs, or crop tops.
- Knowing my worth.
Little Old Lady Comedy 