- Your ex-boyfriend is in a new relationship.
- Your high school nemesis just got married.
- 6 people unfollowed you.
- Your current sexual partner rejected your request to like your Facebook page about your new HILARIOUS new website.
- Your status got 0 likes.
- Your status got 1 like.
- Your status got 2 likes.
- Your creepy ex-boss who you thought you had blocked messaged you.
- Your sister’s profile picture is her ‘freeing her nipple.’
- Any sort of political news item appears on your feed.
- Your grandmother (who you forgot was on Facebook) likes a status about your sex life.
- You saw a photo of all your friends having fun without you.
- Facebook kicks you off for saying ‘men are scum’
- Men are scum!
- Facebook stops you from inviting people to like your page because you’re ‘going too fast.’
- Your profile picture got 0 likes.
- Your profile picture got 1 like.
- Your profile picture got 10 likes (hey, it was a professionally-done headshot, ok? That shit deserves hundreds!)
- Your ex-boyfriend marks himself as safe during a crisis that happens EXTREMELY close to your frenemy Rebecca’s bedroom. What was he doing all the way over there? Gross.
- Your Facebook account got hacked.
- You left your Facebook open at your current sexual partner’s house.
- You typed a man’s name as your status when you meant to type it into the search bar.
- You went on Facebook.
