Desired Facebook Privacy Options For A Woman Who Writes A Lot About Her Exes

  • Friends except: The man whom this article is about.
  • Specific friends: Only the man whom this article is about.
  • Friends except: James, but make sure Ryan can see this because Ryan’s going to THINK it’s about him, and then he’ll confront me, and I’ll get to tell him it’s actually about James and then he’ll look SO self-absorbed.
  • Specific friends: Only men who have been inside of me, because no one else is going to get the reference to the pink smog.
  • Friends except: Ben, but if it gets more than 50 likes share it with Ben as well because I want him to see me KILLING IT. Also let Ryan know that this privacy option was targeted to Ben and not him.
  • Friends except: Ryan, but if you, Facebook, think it’s a sufficiently touching and heartwarming story, go ahead and share it with Ryan too, especially if you think it’s the last push needed to get Ryan to text me again. However, if you don’t think this article is sweet enough to get Ryan to text me, then don’t share it with him, because it’ll make me look desperate.
  • Only me (this one is just a picture of me crying).
  • Public IF you think this is a publication that Matt will have heard of. Otherwise, friends except Matt. Also please make sure Ryan’s mom sees this, I know I’m not friends with her, but I’ve seen her post from this publication before. I want her to know I’m the daughter she always wanted. Then maybe she’ll push Ryan to text me again. I don’t know, what do you think? Ryan did always love his mom. That’s actually one of the things I loved most about him.
  • Friends except: Ryan, but if Ryan’s relationship status on Facebook changes from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘single’ can you please share this post with him and maybe try to get it at the top of his feed? Even if it happens in two years or so, I’ll be waiting. I mean, I’m willing to play the long game.
  • Specific friends: This one is a marriage proposal targeted to Ryan, so maybe just show it to him but I wouldn’t mind if the others see it.
  • Public except: Men.

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