Questions I’d Prefer My Boyfriend Ask My Dad Than For My ‘Hand In Marriage’

Asking for a father’s hand in marriage is pretty outdated, don’t you think? Women aren’t property — why should my father be able to give his permission? Besides, I think my boyfriend asking my father for my hand in marriage really misses some of the bigger issues, namely that there are a whole host of questions I’d prefer he ask my father. I’ve outlined a few below.

  • Can I have a job?
  • Could we borrow your car?
  • Can I have your daughter’s whole body in marriage?
  • Do you have $5?
  • Do you have $50?
  • Do you have $500?
  • Do you have $5,000? Ok, this is pushing it, I agree.
  • I’d really love your daughter’s consent.
  • Could you watch our dog this weekend?
  • Are we invited on the family vacation to Nantucket?
  • Could you go a little easy on your daughter? She’s LOOKING for a job, ok?
  • Can I use your charger?
  • Can I have your charger?

I should add that I wrote this months ago, and this definitely does NOT apply to my current boyfriend, who would be very freaked out if he thought it did. I also don’t have a dog.

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