I try to buy only all-natural beauty, skin and haircare products, all of which proudly tout that they’re “paraben free.” Therefore, I would never buy anything with a paraben in it because…they’re…bad? Huh, I guess I don’t know what these evil creatures that lurk in drugstore lotions even are. Here are my best guesses as to what the fuck a paraben even is.
- Some kind of worm.
- Bread.
- …ranch?
- Radiation.
- Gel.
- A small country in South America.
- A small non-profit.
- Germs.
- Silicone.
- Sugar.
- A cancer-causing chemical.
- A cancer-causing mineral.
- A cancer-causing something else.
- Cancer.
- Whatever the opposite of makeup is.
- 8th grade.
- A pair of guys named Ben haha you know I had to do it.
- Non-organic dirt.
- Cheese.