What Headlines It Would Take To Shock Me At This Point

  • Stormy Daniels Said She Actually Really Loved Sleeping With Trump
  • Trump Eats Lettuce For Breakfast
  • Russia Now A Territory of Alaska
  • Russia Is Nice
  • Melania Admits To Having One Orgasm Once Ever
  • Cats Rebrand As Dogs
  • NYTimes Doing Well
  • ‘The Bachelor’ Is Cancelled
  • Trump Runs
  • Things Looking Good In US
  • Things Looking Good In World
  • Hope Hicks Bravely Shares Her Story Of Not Being Sexually Harassed By The President
  • All Diseases Can Be Traced Back To Not Drinking Enough Red Wine (this is one I’m secretly hoping for)
  • Comedian Now Most Profitable Job of the 21st Century
  • Writing Internet Posts Surprisingly Financially Profitable

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