My Sex Life Via Venmo


You paid Jack Spencer — $40

180d

Dinner

Jack Spencer paid you + $40

180d

It was my treat 🙂

Jack Spencer charged you -$35

168d

This one wasn’t my treat.

You charged Jack Spencer + $80

150d

You threw out a lot of my clothes

Ben Thompson paid you + $20

137d

You didn’t have to pay me back! I have uber employee credit.

You charged Ben Thompson + $8

136d

I can’t believe you don’t carry condoms with you.

Matt Donovan paid you + $30

120d

Thanks for getting us tickets to your show! Such a fun time.

Matt Donovan charged you — $30

120d

I didn’t realize the show was donation only.

You charged Matt Donovan + $30

120d

Yeah, but it was donation to planned parenthood. Do you hate women?

Andrew Summer paid you + $40

107d

Cat-sitting.

You charged Andrew Summer + $10

107d

I bought more cat food. Also, I thought when you said “come over and feed my cats” you were coyly suggesting sex. I didn’t realize you’d be out of town.

You charged Daniel T

2d

Plan B. I went off birth control, because it had been so long. I didn’t need to tell you that in this Venmo request.

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