The news anchor
“Just calling to check in! Also, I was watching the local news and saw Maureen, one of the anchors, asking an economist tough questions about the price of oil. As Maureen was talking, I thought, ‘That’s a great haircut. I like how the curls frame her face.’ Have you had a haircut recently? Maybe for spring you can try one like Maureen’s! I’ll find a picture of her online, print it out, and mail it to you in a sheet protector.”
The dancer in the Mark Morris Dance Group
“Your father and I saw the Mark Morris Dance Group last night and were so impressed by the athleticism of these dancers. As they bent and stretched to symbolize man’s relationship with God, I noticed a dancer with a darling haircut — like a bob, with soft waves. I thought, ‘By contrast, my daughter’s hair remains stiff. I need to do something.’ So I met this dancer at the stage door and asked to take a photo of her head from the side so you could see the layers. Maybe you could use the photo as inspiration for that spring haircut you might want to schedule, before the salon gets booked up?”
The foreign policy expert on the PBS NewsHour
“I was watching a woman from the Brookings Institution speak about foreign policy on the NewsHour. As she discussed trade deals and the threat of nuclear war, my eyes drifted to her flattering, chin-length hair and I thought, ‘My daughter needs to see this woman.’ So that’s why I’m calling now — turn on PBS, put it on mute, and focus on this woman’s haircut. Now she’s talking about visiting North Korea and I’m noticing that her hair isn’t boxy — does her stylist cut at an angle? You could get a similar cut this spring!”
The author on C-SPAN
“Last night, I saw this woman on C-SPAN. She was talking about an 800-page book she had written about President Roosevelt and she was very passionate. As she talked, I noticed all these loose curls falling to her shoulders, and I thought, ‘This spring, I wish the same for my daughter, whose hair texture would be similar if she had the right techniques.’ When the interviewer said that this book is first on the New York Times bestseller list, I wondered, ‘This author probably uses a gel, but the question is, what kind?’ Are you using gel?”
The new doctor at the practice
“Yesterday at my check-up, I saw the new doctor they hired. Apparently she has an M.D.-Ph.D. from Harvard and did a fellowship at the Mayo Clinic. In addition, she had curly hair that was so soft and light, and she didn’t pull it back — she let it be loose, and yet it wasn’t puffy like a clown. I didn’t know how she accomplished that style. It was a mystery — the same kind of hair mystery I’m trying to solve whenever you come home to visit. Her hairstyle seemed to reflect an open-mindedness and psychological freedom on her part, and I want that for you this spring.
So I asked this doctor, ‘Excuse me, but could you tell me who cuts your hair? Because I want this style for my daughter, but she prefers to wear her hair like a bird’s nest.’ I knew this doctor had patients waiting, but I hoped she would pause to chat. This doctor, whose name I learned is Elizabeth, not only told me the name of her stylist, but also said that this haircut changed her life. Before Elizabeth got this cut, her hair was scraggly and shaped like a triangle, not dissimilar to Rosanne Rosannadanna. Her life was a mess. At the practice, patients questioned her judgment. She was struggling with student-loan debt. In her spare time, she exclusively played checkers by herself.
Then one month ago, Elizabeth looked within and decided to get a nice haircut. And you know what? Suddenly patients greeted her with deep bows. She got a raise and paid off her debt. She started salsa dancing and met the man who has become not just her romantic partner, but also her dance partner. All of this from one fresh, spring haircut! The scrap of paper with her stylist’s name is on the fridge at home. Maybe you could take a train down here to see her stylist this spring? One cut could change everything!