Things You Can Claim As Personality Traits When You Don’t Have Much of a Personality

Hey, I get it. I often feel like a generic, interchangeable white lady, and that’s because most of the time, that’s exactly what I am. But luckily, when I’m on the hunt for unique idiosyncrasies and just can’t find any, I latch onto things that sort of make me seem like a fully-fleshed out human being! Welcome to my list personality traits. I mean….what can I say? I’m kinda quirky.

  1. I think that Rosé is way better in the summer.

I’m sorry, but I like, can’t drink that drink when it’s snowing. I know it’s eccentric, but that’s just who I am. Take it or leave it.

2. I HATE the word moist.

Who invented that hideous word? Gosh, I can hardly think it without cringing. It’s just like gross, and if you say it around me, I will most definitely shudder and make an adorable scene.

3. I cannot get enough of rooftops.

Excuse me, but being on a roof, particularly when it isn’t raining, is my personal idea of a wonderful time. So, pardon me if, when I am on a rooftop, I spin around and yell weird things like, “ I’m the queen of the world,” while my hair gets tangled in the summer breeze. Because I love rooftops so much, I won’t even care that my hair’s messy. I’m INSANE.

4. I absolutely live for brunch.

I’m sorry but, if you can’t handle me at my best (three mimosas deep at noon on a Saturday) you probably won’t be able to handle me at my worst (when my favorite brunch spot has a wait that’s longer than 40 minutes). I will lose my mind!

5. Please don’t tell anyone, but I think I have seasonal depression.

This is kind of strange but, during the winter, I get sort of sad. It’s bizarre because in the summer, I literally feel fine. Phew, it feels good to get that off my chest.

6. My mom literally won’t stop calling me.

I have thirteen missed calls from my mom. I’m sorry, but does she have a life? Thirteen calls! Can you believe that? Thirteen! Isn’t that so funny? I’m so funny sometimes.

7. I have a clown phobia.

I don’t know what it is, but clowns are so freaky. Do you think I’m weird for saying that? I can’t help it! Clowns are just super creepy. Ugh, you think I’m weird, don’t you? But, seriously, I have nightmares about clowns. Yes, I’m super weird, okay?

8. I smoke weed every day and do cocaine on the weekends.

Ugh, I can be such a drug addict sometimes, and by that I mean, I’m fully a drug addict. I act so crazy sometimes, you wouldn’t believe. When I smoke weed, I get all quiet and paranoid, but also sometimes, I’m relaxed. When I do coke, I talk sooooooooo much. And I don’t even know what I’m saying! I’m crazy.

9. I’m SO clumsy.

I know it seems like I have my life together, but I trip all the time. Sometimes, I drop my bag on the street, and all of its contents fall out. It’s so embarrassing, but also really cute!

10. Sometimes, I don’t leave the house because I’m eating ice cream and bingeing on Netflix.

Do you like Netflix? Well, not as much as I do, apparently. I cannot BELIEVE that, from time to time, I stay in my pajamas all weekend, eat pints of Rocky Road, and rewatch the entire series of Gilmore Girls straight through without getting up. I’m just THE WORST. Who even does that?

There you have it, folks, my entire personality, broken down into ten totally awesome and unique eccentricities. You thought I was just your average millennial white woman didn’t you? Well joke’s on you! I’m freakin’ different, okay?

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