New York’s Favorite Way to Humblebrag
If you’re anything like me, spring in New York City means one thing and one thing only: Debating whether or not to renew your annual CitiBike membership until you’ve waited so long that you realize it already auto-renewed!
But what if you’re actually trying to talk yourself into it? Well look no further than this comprehensive guide to…
The Top 10 Reasons to Renew Your CitiBike Membership
- Fleeting sense of unearned moral superiority every time you say “oh I biked here.”
- Peace of mind that comes with knowing each bike is definitely heavy enough to kill someone if you hit them.
- The unique joy that comes with showing up sweaty to everything.
- Increased human interaction thanks to the bike helmet that inadvertently hits someone every time you take the subway.
- It’s a convenient way to get to the Upper East Side — or at least it would be if there was ever a reason to go to the Upper East Side.
- Makes a memorable first impression when you explain that you’re half an hour late because you couldn’t find an open bike dock instead of blaming the MTA.
- Relive all the joys of Blockbuster by being charged arbitrary late fees!
- The convenience of being able to bike to work, just as soon as you take a train two stops to the nearest docking station.
- Each bike features a handy open-sided basket that definitely can’t hold whatever it is you’re carrying.
- Despite making you hot, exhausted, smelly, miserable, and regularly endangering your life, biking is still less painful than taking the subway.