Review Of Avengers: Infinity War From The Guy At Work Who Definitely Saw It


Man! What an infinity war THAT was! So much superhero stuff…and THANOS! Wow, what a big guy. If it wasn’t for old Cap’ America and young Peter “Spider Man” Parker, things would’ve gotten a little hairy for the universe. Oh, and two words: Chris. Pratt. What a funny hunky man! Watch out Downey, Jr., there’s a new sarcastic sex-pot in town! But you’re both in the film, which is fun. “Avengers, unite!”… I got chills, CHILLS!

First off, the Russo twins who directed the movie did a really amazing job at teaching all the actors where to punch and kick and throw spears/grenades/trucks. They kept it really true to the comic book, I believe it was Avengers: Infinity War issue #123, by opening the movie with Bruce Banner singing the Star-Spangled Banner at a baseball game, which is a funny play on words from the original comic. Speaking of the original comic, Stan Lee (the cartoonist for all Marvel drawings) makes one of his signature cameos as one of the fighter pilots that flies over the baseball game and notices something a little bit…strange. It seems that instead of Bruce Banner winding up for the pitch…it’s someone a bit…greener. That’s right: the Hulk throws a two-seam fastball right down the middle, opening up a wormhole in the space-time continuum allowing Loki, Thor, and Thanos to slip into the material world.

And that’s when things really start to get avenged. In perhaps what film-buffs call the “climax” of the film, all of the superheroes win the infinity battle, but haven’t won the infinity war. Iron Man, Black Panther, and the tree played by Vin Diesel go their separate ways, and we learn that all along the true war was the bellicose battlefields of friendship.

But wait! Spoiler alert! Who’s that lurking in the shadows? That’s right: Samuel L Jackson playing a pirate shoots a laser into the sky that opens up another portal to the Disney Cinematic universe, causing a barrage of classic Disney characters to fall from the sky directly into the Avengers’ secret headquarters. Movie. Magic.

Man what a ride. When the credits started rolling I couldn’t believe the ride I’d just been through — and nearly forgot about the signature Marvel post-credits scene, which was extremely good and unanticipated this time around. What was it? Well, I guess you’ll just have to go see the movie to find out. Let’s just say, you won’t like Donald Duck when he’s angry.

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