I Don’t Need To Marry A Prince, I Will Also Settle For Someone Who Is Just Rich

As a young girl I would sing along with Snow White as she sang “Someday My Prince Will Come,” but I know now that that sentiment has no place in the today’s world. Sure, as a child I would fantasize about being rescued from my tower by a handsome man on horseback, but that dream is unlikely to become a reality. Fairytales aren’t real. I am a woman of the modern age, so I don’t need to marry a prince—I will also settle for someone who is simply very wealthy.

My friends may say that I have “unrealistic expectations” or am “ridiculously immature” and “shamelessly materialistic” when it comes to finding love, but I know that as times change, so must our demands. I don’t need a fancy title, a historic estate, or even a large (or small) castle. As a modern woman, I would be content with a Fifth Avenue penthouse and a summer home on the Kennedy compound in Hyannis Port. Who needs a horse-drawn carriage when there are vintage Jaguars?

I don’t need to be like Meghan Markle, with a custom dress designed by the artistic director of Givenchy. Haute couture designed by any old designer at Givenchy would do. 

I have opened my heart and mind enough not to demand a suitor from a storied family with decades of influence; there are commoners becoming billionaires in Silicon Valley every day. 

While in my heart of hearts I may be a romantic, I am also a pragmatist. I know that many of the European kingdoms that were formed after the Napoleonic Wars no longer function as monarchies. Generations ago, women had the possibilities of leading the Kingdom of Württemberg or becoming a Princess of Saxony, but we no longer live in the time of kaisers and kings. There are a finite amount of princes on the planet, but seemingly infinite Kardashians. 

With Prince Harry officially off the market and Prince George’s nuptials likely decades away, I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never join the House of Windsor. Angelina Jolie, however, has like 100 kids, and Elon Musk will date just about anybody. 

It’s 2018, so there’s no need to move to England in order to become a baroness or a duchess or a countess or a viscountess or a marchioness. The new Republican tax law does more to encourage dynastic wealth than any title Queen Elizabeth II can bestow. 

Today’s women should stop waiting for their princes. It’s a whole new world filled with Saudi sheikhs, Emirati emirs, and Russian oligarchs.

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