I Took A Little Too Much NyQuil And Called Puppies “A Stain On The Animal Kingdom”

flu-1006045_1920Ugh. Folks, I messed up.
I wasn’t careful and now I’ve done something very, very bad. Something that might have permanently wrecked my happiness, my friendships, and my career. The most I can do is take responsibility for my actions.
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write, so bear with me, and please be gentle. Remember, even though I’m an awful, awful person, this wasn’t all me. I’d say about half of it was the NyQuil. I’ve taken the stuff before, but it usually makes me do harmless things like stick forks in outlets and eat out of the bird feeder. Nothing this intense or controversial.
Anyway, I should begin by saying that I have NO PROBLEMS with dogs. I see them on the street all the time, and I give them the respect and space they deserve. I always ask before petting one, and I try to violently shove every dog walker who leaves poop on the sidewalk. I stand up for these animals because I’m a good person, and I consider myself a dog supporter.
When I wrote “imo puppies are absolute scum and i would say they’re one of the biggest stains on the animal kingdom lmao” on Twitter this past Sunday, I was being careless and ignorant. NyQuil tweeting is no joke, but it’s in no way an excuse for my inappropriate language.
I want to make it clear that even though I said those nasty things, I had NEVER had a derogatory thought about dogs before then. In fact, I would go so far as to say that every single thought I’ve had about them has been something like “They’re absolute angels!” or “They deserve to be taken as seriously as cats are!” I even have a dog of my own, so I COMPLETELY understand the kind of hatred these furry fellas face in society. It’s not fair, and I don’t condone it.
Honestly, if my dog saw my tweet (by the way, it’s deleted now, so don’t go looking for it), she’d probably laugh at it. I don’t think she’d be offended at all, though she’d probably rest her paw on my hand and say, “I understand how people would have a problem with this.”
(Just to clarify, my dog doesn’t speak English, but I can usually make out what she’s trying to say when the NyQuil is doing its thing.)
But you know what? It’s not about me. It’s about you—my dear fans and social media junkies—and the discomfort that tweet made you feel. It was immature of me and the nighttime relief syrup in my system to say such things. I can’t apologize enough.
In the future, I’m going to keep both humans and dogs in mind when posting stuff on the Internet. You opened my eyes during a time when I was trying my best to close them. (Literally and figuratively.) So please don’t be afraid to correct me in the future.
Oh, and a quick shout-out to everyone who rooted for me while all the hatred was flowing in. Not that you were right or anything, but I do appreciate it, because some of those people were being really mean.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Vicks has since released a statement clarifying that NyQuil does not cause uninhibited anti-animal rampages, and asks consumers to stick to the product for its intended uses: cold and flu relief, and drinking games.

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