I want to put to bed a lot of rumors I hear about myself, many of which were started by me. A lot of people say that I’m not a ‘fun’ or ‘interesting’ or ‘cool’ person. They say I’m never the life of the party because I don’t ‘socialize’ or ‘say hi’ or ‘make eye contact’ or ‘speak.’ But what they don’t know is I’m not an unfun person, I’m just not CLASSICALLY fun.
The classic definition of fun, from the dictionary, is: “amusing, entertaining, or enjoyable.” I am definitely not any of those three things, but that just means I don’t meet SOCIETY’S outdated definition of fun. People say I’m not fun, and they say I’m the opposite of fun. They use words like “boring” or “unpleasant,” but I just feel like all that means is that I’m not fun in the classical sense.
You know how we say women who aren’t hot are just ‘not classically hot’? Like Renee Zellweger? And then everyone knows exactly what they mean? Well, think of me that way. I’m fun in my own way, and it’s just not the type of way anyway has ever considered fun before in their entire life, because it’s unique and new to me! Isn’t that sort of fun? In a way, maybe my total rejection of society’s ‘fun standards’ is the most fun thing about me!
I’m tired of the PATRIARCHY trying to tell me what is and isn’t fun. You don’t have to be a size 2 to be hot anymore, and you don’t have to ever make anyone laugh or even smile to be fun. Dogs still want to hump me, ok? And so do men. Because I’m my own kind of fun.