I’m so embarrassed! I didn’t mean to reveal my beautiful soul during rush hour in front of all these onlooking commuters. But, heck, a spontaneous game of peek-a-boo with an infant will do it every time.
To be fair, the baby started it. There were plenty of other women on the train that the baby could’ve smiled at, but what can I say? The baby chose me. I’m not saying I’m better than those other women, but it does raise the question, “Am I though?”
I mean, according to science, babies can take one look at you and know if you’re good or evil. So if this baby saw me and subsequently elected me to play hardcore peek-a-boo for 20 minutes in front of everyone, it must mean I’ve got a heart of gold.
Throughout the peek-a-boo game, this baby was cute, but let’s face it, I was cuter. You should’ve seen the appreciative oglers on the train staring at us (mostly me if I’m being honest). Every time I took my hands off of my face and said, “Peek a boo,” this baby would smile joyfully. I’d smile back, and every time I looked up, everyone was smiling at me, as if I was some sort of human angel or something.
Passengers were very open about how intrinsically good-hearted they thought I was. One woman that got rejected by the baby looked at me enviously and said, “That could have been me.”
Well, technically, it couldn’t have been, lady, because you’re evil, and the baby can tell. Not really my problem, you know?
The overt reactions didn’t stop there.
An incredibly attractive man on his way to work looked at me mid peek-a-boo reveal and whispered, “You’d be such a great mother.” Wow! Was he flirting? I wasn’t sure, but I gave him my number, so I guess we’ll see!
An elderly grandmother across from me winked at me and said, “That baby is lucky to have you, darling.” I corrected her and said, “Oh, no, you’re mistaken. That’s not my baby.”
Then, the baby’s actual mother piped up and said, “Well, she should be. This is the first time I’ve seen my baby this happy. Would you like to take my baby home with you?”
“Oh no, I couldn’t do that,” I responded.
Then, the flirting man yelled, “Take the baby!”
The grandmother stood up and raspily shouted, “Yes, take the baby!”
Even the woman who despised me for being so beautiful on the inside joined in, “ Just take the baby!”
Suddenly, everyone on the train was cheering in unison for me to take this baby.
So, I took the baby!
Now I have a baby. I didn’t wake up this morning thinking I’d walk off the train with my very own baby, but alas, when you have a beautiful soul, things like this just happen to you. I love my baby, and she loves me too. How could she not? I am warm and lovely to my core. Still, this was a pretty vulnerable experience for me; being so sweet and caring in front of everyone like that… I’m still so embarrassed. But I’ll survive. Well, I’m off to play peek-a-boo all day with my brand new baby!