Oof, that was an uncomfortable situation. I should NOT have taken the lull in the conversation to ask if you and your husband were on the rocks. I mean, you clearly weren’t, I was just being nosy. And I know I made the whole table really uncomfortable, so I’m sorry for that. And I’m sorry for not letting us drop it for the next two hours.
I know I apologized right away for making the initial comment, and everyone accepted my apology. I just wasn’t really sure we were fully ready to let go of how awkward I’d made the conversation, so I felt the need to reiterate that I’m really sorry I made such an awkward comment. If it made you uncomfortable the first time I said it, I apologize. And if my apologies make you uncomfortable by continuing to bring it up, I’m even more sorry. I’ll recursively continue to apologize for all the times I’ve ever made you uncomfortable ad infinitum.
I know it’s only gotten more awkward since I’ve brought it up 10 or 12 times since making the initial awkward move. And so, for that awkwardness, I have to say I’m sorry! I’d just like to dwell on it a tiny bit longer to really explain just why it was so awkward of me to say it in the first place, and why I need to continue to perpetuate the awkwardness by saying it again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again. Wow! I’m exhausted. Yikes, this is awkward.
Now that I’m thinking about all the awkward things I’ve ever said, and how awkward I’ve made so many social situations. Wow, I should really think through what I’ve said and apologize for them, one by one. Brian – I’m sorry I pointed out your weight gain 2 years ago. You look slightly better now. Kelly – I should never have announced in public that it was clear Frank wasn’t into you. I mean, he wasn’t, but you didn’t need to hear it like that. Jane – I know I bring up your mother’s death too much. I’ll stop, but also, it’s not as though she’s listening if ya know what I mean. Trevor – you probably don’t need another reminder that you dropped out of college.
Phew, I’m glad to have aired all those apologies!