I Accidentally Followed a Stranger for 3.8 Miles After Getting a Whiff of His Cologne

chanel paris eua de parfum bottle
Photo by Jess Watters on Pexels.com

I’m already late for work. I’m on the M from Queens frantically reading emails, writing emails, receiving emails, sending emails. Plus, fuck me, I have a 9:30 meeting that I both forgot to prepare for and will arrive late during. And I yelled at my boyfriend this morning for making me late by… I don’t know, being there!

Wow – something smells good. I wouldn’t typically inhale in underground Manhattan (deep breaths are for trains with a view), but that is GOOD. How can something smell both musky AND green? Okay, get it together, remember the emails. Sniff sniff. It’s coming from that short guy in the joggers.

Good for him. Maybe I should work on my own personal scent. God, I can’t stop inhaling. I could start with a body spray and work my way up. I think they sell some cheap ones at Madewell, maybe I could swing by after work.

Crap, we’re stuck on the bridge. I’m late enough as it –  wait a minute, bridge? Where am I? I’m still next to that incredibly good-smelling guy. Why am I still next to him? This is better than CK One. I’m almost in Brooklyn? My stop is in Midtown!

Get off the train. Get off! No, he smells so good. What if I just skipped work and stayed right here? I never let myself have what I want, even when I deserve it. No, turn around. Go to work! Oh, looks like we’re getting off.

Here we are in Williamsburg, I guess? Keep your head down. Just follow him for a few blocks. He won’t notice. The smell is even stronger when we’re walking. Oh my god, I’m in his apartment. Fuck. It’s not too late. Turn around! Oh my god, what IS that? Mojave Desert? Tom Ford’s Tuscan Leather? I can’t leave! Then I won’t have this smell in my nose anymore.

Go to work. Go to work! Oh my… is that the bottle? If I spray it on myself, maybe – no, that’s not enough. I live here now. Take the bottle. Take it. Run! Wow… did he… not notice any of that? That’s crazy. I guess I don’t need to develop my own scent. This is my personality now. Sniff sniff.

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