Excuse Me, But Have You Heard the Good News About 3M Command Hooks?

clothes rack
Photo by Daian Gan on Pexels.com

Excuse me, but have you heard the good news about 3M Command Hooks? Yes, I’m talking to you. And yes, I’m talking about 3M Command Hooks. You know, those reusable plastic hooks you can stick to your wall and the pull the weird stretchy tab thing and then it comes off? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. But have you ever really thought about them? Have you stopped to consider just how amazing they are? How they are, without a doubt, the most marvelous invention of the human imagination? Have they led you to revolutionize your life by maximizing your wall space?

If you answered “no” to any of those questions then please, lend me your ears (by which I mean your eyes) because I have good news! 3M Command Hooks are here! And they’re here to stay… at least until you remove them by pulling that sticky tab (which, let’s be honest, is way too much fun).

3M Command Hooks can transform any space into a fully-functional storage solution, and they come in a variety of shapes and styles: Keep track of your keys with a Command Mini-Hook (conveniently sold in a 9-pack!). Stop piling your clothes on the bathroom floor and start draping them gingerly from the elegant, water-resistant Command Bathroom Hook! Or just elevate your one pre-tied tie to a place of prominence by hanging it on a classic Command Hook. Yes, 3M Command Hooks can truly tackle even your most treacherous hanging dilemmas!

Let me assure you, friend, that this is no paid endorsement. If I was being paid I’d have to work a lot harder to sneak the branding into a seemingly-authentic piece about how my lack of closet space contributes to my crippling fear of intimacy. For example: “My life had become wrinkled like my sweaters were before I finally found a place to hang them: THE DOOR. If only there was some kind of 3M Command Hook I could hang my hopes and dreams on!”

Subtle, right?

That’s why you can believe me when I say this opinion is entirely my own: 3M Command Hooks are the most important invention of the last 50 years. Better than the internet and more fundamental in our everyday lives. I can hang a bike helmet above my laundry hamper. Or a tote bag just below a smaller tote bag just below (yes!) an even smaller tote bag. You can even get the Heavy Duty Command Hook (holds up at 5 pounds!) and hang a backpack with a notebook and an apple in it! A whole apple! Or a step ladder, as pictured on the packaging, which makes me think I should invest in a step ladder.

I used to be like you, you know. Living in the darkness of a hook-less existence, taking for granted the finite storage space of my various IKEA furniture, hoodies piling up on the floor with nowhere to hang. I used to look at the barren walls in my tiny apartment and think “WHY? Why must this space go unused?!” I too have cursed the gods for neglecting to provide recessed shelving or adequate closet space in literally any New York City apartment. I know what it’s like to feel the slow creep of your own inner hoarder taking over, saving junk mail and wine bottles as if these things will somehow make the pile of unwashed jeans look better by comparison. I know all the reasons you’re thinking this doesn’t apply to you, that 3M Command Hooks can’t change yourlife.

To that I say: Let go of your preconceived notions. Let go of your fears. Let go of that lightweight jacket, because this 3M Command Hook is ready to hold onto it for you, for as long as you need.

Just make sure you empty the pockets first.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s