Accepting That Your President Is A Traitor

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The President of the United States has publicly stated that he trusts the President of Russia more than his own country. After this, he claimed that he meant to say “the exact opposite” of what he had previously said. How do you accept this behavior? Let’s find out.

At first I was worried about the behavior of President Trump at the Helsinki Summit, but then I realized I don’t have to be. In fact, I could just do exactly as he did, and say that I meant to do the opposite after I do something bad. Let’s find out just what we could do with this power:

1. Rob a bank
When you’re caught by the police, just tell them that you meant to GIVE the bank money. When they demand the money back after this tactic succeeds (which it definitely will), tell them that you meant to save it, but you burned it.

2. Start a new identity
When you’ve accidentally burned your own personal possessions along with the bank money you burned, it’s time for you to just start over. How to do this? Simple. Go to an airport and book a flight out of the country. Whenever you are asked for your ID, just show your current ID and say that you are NOT that person. Bada bing! If they don’t believe you, just punch the TSA agent and run past them.

3. Establish your dominance in prison
If you end up in prison for punching a TSA agent, tell them that you meant to jerk off the agent. If that doesn’t work, you’ll end up in prison. It’s easy to get out! Tell the security guards that you DIDN’T mean to jerk off the TSA agent. In fact, now that you’re in prison, it’s probably better to really say this to make sure that no prison inmates get the wrong idea. In fact, let’s address that right now.

3a. Avoid becoming a prisoner’s bitch
Tell everyone in prison that you DIDN’T jerk off a TSA agent, and if anyone thinks you did, you’ll cut them with a shank.

4. Enjoy your freedom
If you tell people in charge that you meant  to HELP the TSA agent enough, they will let you out of prison. Congratulations! However, you’re now at the behest of a society as an ex-convict. Things will be hard for you. Once you realize that your freedom has actually begun to suffocate you, just tell a police officer that you meant that you WANTED to be in prison. If that doesn’t work, try to jerk them off.

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