In today’s competitive TV landscape, networks need to be thinking far into the future to create killer content. More and more of today’s most popular shows are actually revivals of shows that were popular 20 years ago, so why not invest now in shows that are guaranteed to have highly-rated reboots? Please take our pitches into consideration.
16-And-Considering-Getting-Pregnant-Later-In-Life: In the original hit series, we meet a group of 16-year-old girls who know they want to focus on their careers and not their families. Sheila is unsure she even wants kids at all! The show mostly consists of them studying and talking about college applications. They’re not actually friends. However, HBO picks up the show 20 years later for a revival, and we meet the women again as they go through the trials and tribulations of egg-freezing, in-vitro fertilization, and surrogacy. It’s a lot like Sex and the City, except they still aren’t friends with each other.
Fetal Attraction: It seems like the only viable way to have a successful teen show is to reboot a show about fetuses, hence: Fetal Attraction. In the original, six eggs fight their way through their mothers’ fallopian tubes to see who will be the first fertilized. It’s vicious and bloody, mostly because it takes place inside a human body. There was supposed to be a dead rabbit fetus too, but PETA complained. The show has no dialogue and limited visuals, which explain its low ratings and subsequent cancellation. 20 years later, FOX picks up the series, but now, instead of being unfertilized eggs, the protagonists are 18-year-old soccer players. Still aggressive, they frequently knock each other over and even slit their wrists to score goals and hearts. Older viewers will remember fondly just how tenacious the girls were as adorable cellular pieces of DNA, and newer viewers will still follow along even if they never got the chance to stare at eggs.
Extreme Makeover: Dollhouse Edition: Groups of 8-year-old girls spend whole afternoons decorating their dollhouses. Their parents only give them dolls and barbies to play with, and they have little interest in blocks or legos. 20 years later, Bravo reboots the show — not as a home makeover show, but as a reality show about the devastating effects of giving children gendered toys.
FuturaMama: The original FuturaMama is an animated show about a Mama, only in the future. Every episode, the Mama runs around and does things to help her 4 kids and degenerate husband who is unrealistically unattractive even for an animated character. The show is set 1000 years in the future, so all animals are extinct but gender roles conveniently are not. The show is prematurely canceled by ABC for having a female lead. 20 years later, Netflix agrees to create a reboot. Because the show is animated, the children and husband look exactly the same, but in a cruel twist of fate, the animated Mama has aged 20 years.
This Girl is Good at Math LOL: CBS creates a hit show about a girl who — get this — is good at math. It’s hilarious! In the entire first season, the audience roars with laughter as we see this young girl add up three digit numbers. What a kook! 20 years later, CBS decides to revive the series but rename it: This Woman is Good at Math LOL But So Are These Men. It’s about a group of math Ph.D. students, most of whom are men, and it’s the most popular sitcom on television. They can’t recast the original star though because she was pegged as an unbangable nerd when she was 9, and Hollywood refused to ever see her any other way. Instead, they cast Selena Gomez but they make her wear glasses so we know she’s unfuckable. Another 20 years pass, and CBS creates a prequel to the reboot, except this time…it’s about a boy. Emmys here we come!
The West Wing: This show actually already aired, but 20 years in the future we’re hoping the American people decide to reboot the idea of having a moral government.