Ways I’ve Justified Ordering Food

By Jaime Mac

pepperoni pizza with basil leaves
  • I’ve avoided ordering seamless for a while; I better order tonight so the delivery guy doesn’t worry about me.

  • I have food here, but it’s not the food I want right now

  • There is no food in this house

  • “Payday is Thursday I can afford it” –said regardless of the day of the week

  • I’m too starving to cook so I have to just sit here for 45 minutes waiting. It’ll be faster, I swear

  • It’s hot outside

  • It’s cold outside

  • It’s ok outside

  • I worked really hard today so I deserve this.

  • I didn’t really do much today so I deserve this.

  • What if my favorite place suddenly closes? I’ll order tonight just in case

  • If God didn’t want me to order, he wouldn’t have invented seamless.

  • I have too much work* to do to cook right now

  • If I don’t order it right now, I’m just going to do it in an hour so why fight it?

  • Because I can



*Work = watching The Handmaid’s Tale

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