Instant Messages From 1822

photography of person using laptop
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

LOL
I am writing to report that you gave me quite the chuckle with that last letter! I chortled gleefully and heartily. So much so that my wife heard my hee-haw all the way from the parlor!

OMW
The moment I put down this quill, I will continue my expedition westward. The journey will be long and strenuous, but if all goes to plan I will be in your earnest by summer!

NVM
I regret to inform you that my correspondence with you will be coming to a close. The cause was nothing in particular that you wrote, but I feel as though my letters are not being received in the way I intend. Goodbye.

WTF
Do you write your mother with that quill? I am confused, inflamed and flabbergasted by the contents of your tidings. Next time you have the urge to send such rubbish, seal it up, take it out back, and leave it where the donkeys rest!

BTW
My apologies, but my last letter failed to incorporate all that I wished to disclose. I would have included the remainder in this letter, but I feared I would catch you off guard with two letters in the same month. Keep an eye out for the post carrier!

IDK
Woopsie-daisy, my good man, but it seems you have reached out to the wrong scholar. I’m sorry I’ve wasted your postage, but perhaps you can write to your local university or clergyman. Or Carl!

OMG
Hail Mary! Full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary! Mother of god pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death! Amen.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s