Congratulations, you found yourself an intellectual man of twenty-two on OkCupid! Don’t get too comfortable though, he’s much too good for you, he went to Tisch after all. In order to keep him, you’re going to have to dazzle him in the bedroom. But remember, he isn’t some public school philistine, normal dirty talk won’t do, so here are five Ayn Rand quotes that are sure to make him cum:
To say ‘I love you’ one must first be able to say the ‘I’
This is a great one to start with. It lets him know that you aren’t expecting a commitment and that you support his journey of self-discovery. And trust us, this kind of guy is never harder than when he’s thinking about himself.
A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others
He is clearly creative and ambitious, he has the largest room (and the only one with a window) in the artist commune his parents pay for him to live in. He knows this in his heart, but this quote will let him know that you see all the same potential in him that he does.
The hardest thing to explain is the glaringly evident which everybody had decided not to see
He probably already has this scrawled on his Fjallraven backpack, which is odd because he doesn’t seem to find anything hard to explain. You might follow this by asking him to explain the stylistic differences between French and Italian new wave film.
Evil requires the sanction of the victim
Ok, this one seems problematic, we know, but do you want to please this “documentary filmmaker and conceptual artist” or not? As soon as these words leave your lips, he’ll be writhing in pleasure, knowing that you’ll never accuse him of sexual misconduct.
The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live
By now, he should be ready to pop. Hit him with this classic, which essentially boils down to “live, laugh, love.” This gussied up, pseudo-intellectual version of the quote your mom’s friend posts on Instagram is sure to get the job done. While you may not have gotten off, he will “promise to get you next time.”
Next time. Mission accomplished.