When I embarked on a career in a creative industry, I figured it would be difficult. So few people achieve success, and one has to have not only formidable talent but remarkable perseverance and the unique ability to deal with rejection over and over again. Despite the odds, I was confident that I possessed these traits and determined to work hard in order to succeed.
Shortly after I began to pursue my career, however, I encountered several men who gave me the same (unsolicited) advice: you’re a girl so you can just sleep your way to the top. Performing sexual favors to advance my career wasn’t something I’d thought of previously, but countless men in my (incredibly male-dominated) industry suggested it was not only a viable path for me, but one I’d be stupid not to take.
Said one colleague, “It’ll be so easy for you to get on TV – you just have to blow a bunch of dudes.”
“What you need to do is date a successful guy in the industry, then meet even more successful guys through him and fuck all of them,” said another peer. “That’s how chicks get famous.”
Another coworker told me, “Honestly, you’re kind of fuckable. You’d be stupid not to use that.”
“I wish I could just bang a bunch of chicks to get successful. That’d be sick!” said yet another man. “But there are like, no women on the business side and I wouldn’t suck a dick for less than a million dollars, so it’s not an option for me. But you could fuck your way up, if you lost a little weight.”
The more they told me I should use my “decent” looks for career advancement, the more it began to seem like a good idea. I enjoy having sex, albeit with men I’m attracted to, but I’ve certainly been in sexual situations with men who didn’t exactly drive me wild and that was…bearable. While it seemed crazy to just roll over and spread my legs for any powerful man I encountered, maybe there was something to this strategy?
Once I decided to try to hump my way to the top of the heap, I realized there was just one small problem: I didn’t know any successful or powerful men who could help advance my career in any way. How was I, a young woman just starting out, supposed to sleep with these men if I didn’t even know them? I asked my colleagues who’d suggested I pursue this particular path if they could introduce me to any men who might give me an opportunity in exchange for a handy, but they all responded in more or less the same way: “If I knew people like that, why would I be here with you?”
It quickly became apparent that the only way to meet anyone with any power in my industry was to go back to my original plan and work hard. So for years and years I did just that, improving at my craft little by little. To my surprise, people started to respect me for my talent—sometimes just as much as they seemed to admire my male peers
Eventually, I became so skilled that I got my first real industry opportunity. Though I’d been focused on working my way up the ladder just exactly as a man would, I certainly hadn’t abandoned my plan to take a shortcut through the balls to success. So I entered this exciting situation with a plan: tonight is the night I’ll begin climbing penis by penis to the top.
Then something surprising happened – I impressed everyone, including all the powerful men in the room, with my performance. When I finally got my chance to talk to not one, but several big shots afterward, they were all in awe of my talent. In fact, it was all they wanted to discuss! I batted my eyelashes at one of the men, just to see if I could get something started, and he didn’t even seem to notice, so focused was he on telling me exactly which parts of my performance he’d most enjoyed.
After that, the craziest thing of all happened: several men gave me jobs and opportunities even though I didn’t sleep with them– although plenty of them tried. As my star rose and I met more and more powerful men, several of them came onto me in ways that made me uncomfortable. At times, I worried rejecting those invitations would damage my career, but I always decided against it, mostly because I was getting opportunities from other, less predatory men (and even a few women!) based on my hard work and talent. Said one executive when I thanked him for offering me an incredible career opportunity, “You earned it, sweetheart.” I could have done without the sweetheart but the point is that I got where I am today because of hard work and talent – just like my male colleagues. Except those who told me I should sleep my way to the top, none of whom ever achieved success of any kind.
Now that I’m a successful woman who’s worked her way to the top, young, up-and-coming men are constantly trying to sleep with me– although to be fair, men of all levels of success were trying to have sex with me when I was unsuccessful…and only a little successful…and 16, so it probably has nothing to do with what I’ve achieved. I never sleep with any of them, however, because I’m happily married to the love of my life: an extremely powerful man in my industry who does me no career favors whatsoever – because I don’t need them.
And we don’t do threesomes, so everyone please stop asking.