Euphemisms For “Heavy Dressing”

spinach chicken pomegranate salad
Photo by Kaboompics .com on
We’ve all been there – you’re standing line at Sweet Greens, and the salad-maker asks if you want dressing light medium or heavy. No one wants to admit in a long line of salad freaks that they actually want heavy dressing, so maybe Sweet Greens employees should adopt one of these handy euphemisms:
  • The one that’s not light or medium
  • I want the salad to be mostly white, figure it out.
  • 20 seconds worth of application.
  • “I’ll say when”
  • Um I got 4 different types of cheese, croutons and chips, and two different meats – you do the math.
  • Yesterday for lunch I had buffalo wings. Can you try your best to simulate that?
  • The extra-long maxi pads of dressing.
  • *look twice over both shoulders to make sure no one you know is around*
  • I mean, I don’t want this meal to actually be remotely healthy.
  • Maybe like 200 calories-worth?
  • In between medium and very, very, very heavy.
  • More sweet, less green.
  • The hangover dosage
  • I’m getting into body positivity.
  • Honestly, just be proud of yourself for getting a salad

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