More Fall TV Show Previews (Based On Their Subway Ads)

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Hey TV fans! Are you still obsessing over all the juicy details in the EXCLUSIVE fall TV previews I found on the sides of city buses?

Well then strap in, update your living will, and get make sure to leave out plenty of food for the cats, because I’m back with another sneak peek at this fall’s hottest new and returning series! How hot is this news? Let’s just say my EXCLUSIVE industry source went underground after our meeting–– literally. Check it out:

Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan (Amazon Prime)

From the looks of it Jim from The Office finally snapped and burned down the paper factory, which in turn started a fire that devastated Scranton, and that’s why he got a haircut and changed his name to “Jack Ryan.” 

911 (FOX)

Now with earthquakes!

The Neighborhood (CBS)

Tune in to see a black man and a white man who will never never be able to coexist peacefully in this CBS comedy meant to reflect the worldview of the average CBS viewer.

The Deuce (HBO)

The pink-and-green color scheme on this ad is nauseating, but somehow less nauseating than watching a show with two James Francos.

American Horror Story: Apocalypse (FX)

These ads never make any sense, but this season’s bloody baby is obviously supposed to represent US/China trade negotiations.

The Cool Kids (FOX)

Making a show about one old person is sad, but making a show about a bunch of old people is HILARIOUS. Expect hilariously bigoted one-liners and jokes your dad would laugh at in this, Fox’s latest bid to overtake CBS as the #1 Network You Wish Your Parents Wouldn’t Watch.

Kidding (Showtime)

Jim Carrey stars in this show that dares to ask the question: “What has Jim Carrey been doing lately?”

God Friended Me (CBS)

Amy Adams stars in this gothic mystery about one woman’s struggle with a Facebook redesign.

Last Man Standing (FOX)

This ad is literally just a dick joke, and not an original one at that. On the other hand: This ad is literally the funniest joke Tim Allen has ever associated with.

God Friended Me (CBS)

Inspired by the success of Black Mirror, this taut techno-thriller is set in a near-future where Google has accidentally convinced millions of people that God is talking to them when their new AI answering service goes rogue and begins calling people with messages–– and restaurant reservations–– from the Lord.

Paid Off (TruTV)

Somebody told me this game show pays off your student loans if you win, but that can’t be true because my student loans would bankrupt TruTV.

God Friended Me (CBS)

Louis CK, Matt Lauer, and Charlie Rose all compete for unearned redemption in this new reality series hosted by Les Moonves.

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