1. Can I get a ride to the reception?
2. Would you mind chauffeuring me there and back like you’re a stagecoach driver in Downton Abbey while I pretend that I know how to use Waze?
3. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve sat behind the wheel?
4. Is that sad?
5. If I haven’t driven in 18 years, but I wanted to take a Zipcar to a swimming hole upstate, do you think that would work?
6. How do I make the car turn on?
7. When does it start going vroom-vroom?
8. Is that when you push the pedal thing?
9. What’s with this long stick next to the driver’s seat with the button?
10. Can I push that to see if anything interesting happens?
11. When you’re making a turn, do you turn the wheel, look in the mirror, and then honk your horn, or is it the other way around?
12. Do you know any good driving schools that also offer talk therapy?
13. Could I live in Boston or Los Angeles without a car?
14. Can I keep asking this question until I’m dying because it sounds intriguing but also inconvenient and uncomfortable?
15. Should I learn to drive so I can live in another city and have emotional, physical, and financial freedom, or should I stay here in the center of the universe and keep living in this rent-stabilized shipping container?