Justin was hosing down his driveway when Tammy, the hot block-mom, jogged by.
“Tammy! More like… Whhhaaammy!” he joked to himself.
“Huh. That was kind of funny. I should be a comedian.”
With that thought, a camera crew appeared. A makeup team arrived. Grips, gaffers, and an audience filed in. They powdered Justin’s nose, he told some jokes, and now there’s a 30 ft. poster of him in Times Square.
“It was so easy,” Justin marvels. “My wife took over my day job, watched the kids, cooked dinner for me and the crew… then bing-bang-boom, I was on Netflix.”
He laughs, “I didn’t even have to leave the front yard.”
Justin is a physical comedian, but he is also very very vocal. Specifically about how “his wife doesn’t iron his shirts the right way.”
Highlights of Justin’s stand-up set include tiny little fart noises that he makes with his mouth. For the grand finale, he makes louder farts by reaching into his sweaty sleeve hole and moving his elbow up and down like a deranged duck.
“Louder Farts” is actually the name of his special– we forgot to lead with that.
Justin is very excited for the “Louder Farts” national tour. It will start whenever he feels like it. Radio City is booked through June, but they’ve promised to “find some space” should he call.
Before then? Justin looks forward to trying an open mic for the first time.
“I plan to stand there and talk about how I didn’t understand ‘Nanette’.”
He continues, “I only made it through the first 5 minutes. My sister Laura told me to wait it out, but I just… couldn’t.”
He laughs, “Now, if it was Tammy doing the Nanette lady’s jokes, that’d be a whole different story… whammyyyyyy!”
Tammy has refused to comment on Justin’s comment.
On a related note, Justin’s sister Laura has been doing stand up comedy for ten years. She’s written for 17 different humor blogs and has had countless generals where she’s been told, “eh, no thanks, lady!”
Justin is proud that Laura is continuing to try her best:
“Some people have to work for what they want, hone their voice, practice. Others are just… funny men.”
“Louder Farts” is now streaming on Netflix but you should probably just rewatch “Nanette” instead.