Other Artist-Related Insults from Cher Horowitz

“She’s a full-on Monet. […] It’s like a painting, see. From far away it’s okay, but up close it’s a big ol’ mess.” – Clueless (1995)
She’s a full-on da Vinci. Sure, people flock to her, but it’s just because she’s famous, not because she’s that beautiful.
She’s a full-on Van Gogh. She seems bold and dramatic, but she’s actually totally nuts.
She’s a full-on Munch. It’s like, wow, okay, you’re anxious. We get it.
She’s a full-on Seurat. She seems effortlessly put-together, but when you get up close, you can see the hours that went into making her look that way.
She’s a full-on Klimt. That amount of gold can only be there to distract from something.
She’s a full-on Picasso. People call her “interesting” because “ugly” seems way harsh.
She’s a full-on Matisse. There’s a lot of color, but once you get past that, there’s really not much else there.
She’s a full-on Twombly. Childlike, but not in like a cute way.
She’s a full-on Dali. She’s just being weird to get attention.
She’s a full-on O’Keefe. When is she going to learn that she doesn’t need to show her vagina to get people to like her?
She’s a full-on Hopper. She’s trying so hard to seem mysterious when we can all see she’s just sad.
She’s a full-on Warhol. Could she stop being ironic for like one second?
She’s a full-on Gauguin. It’s like, okay, she went on an island vacation once, that doesn’t make her better than us.
She’s a full-on Degas. Being obsessed with ballerinas isn’t a full personality.
She’s a full-on Pollock. Just because she’s trying to look like a mess doesn’t make it excusable.

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