Abstinence
Condoms
Track your cycle
Become a cycler
Get a crotch injury from too much cycling
Close your knees
Close a collapsible stroller (without instructions)
Close on a fixer upper
Never fixer up it
Sleep in a twin bed
Find your long lost twin
Take your sister’s twins camping (a.k.a. The Reverse Parent Trap)
Google “how to become a nun”
Make sure virgin birth just a fluke
Apply to convent
Graduate from convent
Marry God
He says he changed his mind – He does want kids
Divorce God
Get a cat
Get an additional cat every year until menopause.