Natural Birth Control Options Worth Considering

woman in gray shirt riding black motor scooter
Photo by Artem Bali on



Track your cycle

Become a cycler

Get a crotch injury from too much cycling


Close your knees

Close a collapsible stroller (without instructions)

Close on a fixer upper

Never fixer up it


Sleep in a twin bed

Find your long lost twin

Take your sister’s twins camping (a.k.a. The Reverse Parent Trap)


Google “how to become a nun”

Make sure virgin birth just a fluke

Apply to convent


Graduate from convent

Marry God

He says he changed his mind – He does want kids


Divorce God

Get a cat

Get an additional cat every year until menopause.

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