Minutes from last weekend’s Weekend-Warrior-Middle-Aged-Ex-Jocks-Who-Peaked-In-High School Cycling Club Ride:

high angle view of people on bicycle
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

During an unplanned stop due to a flat tire, a female club member urinated in public on the side of the overpass shocking all the men. No one expected Cathy who’s a new member of the Weekend-Warrior-Middle-Aged-Ex-Jocks-Who-Peaked-In-High School Cycling Club this year, to somehow open the spandex pant leg, lift her leg and pee while the rest of the club remained in formation.

Club leader Chuck: “I was so shocked! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

Sidenote: Chuck has been married 32 years, he does not enter the bathroom when his wife is urinating, showering or applying make-up.

Vice President Pete: “At first, I didn’t realize what was happening, but I just saw the stream…I was so freaked out. We were only two miles from our meeting location.”

Long-time member Nick who needs to gap inexperienced riders when leading interrupted: “This is something that needs to be taken seriously. I am not ok with this.”

Chuck: “It’s illegal to pee in public. And we need to abide by the law. This is why we are one of the safest riding clubs in the area. We follow the rules.”

Someone sitting at another table questioned the fact that most of the men on the ride frequently whip it out during a “bio,” as it is referred, and Nick got defensive and pursed his lips.

Three minutes later, Nick stopped pursing his lips: “Look, when we pee, nobody cares because we are men. And let’s face it, penises are more effective than…you know…women peeing.” He further explained that many of the men watched her urine stream down from the top of the hill and that made them uncomfortable. Because it’s a bodily fluid and there could be additional fluids that also freak men out making them not want to get near a woman for many days nor wanting to ride near them and prefer to stay tight to the right of the road’s shoulder.

“It was almost as if she were breast-feeding right there on the overpass,” whined another guy who wished to remain anonymous in the weekly minutes.

General smirks, chuckles, elbow ribbing, and nodding heads in agreement while internally berating themselves for not having the nerve to call out anonymous.

Apparently, the two other women on the ride had no problem with Cathy’s behavior.

They peeled off and rode on their own escaping the men’s squeamishness and inability to confront issues that women typically confront on a regular basis.

The situation was condemned and whined about in further detail at the weekly gathering at Starbucks afterword. Cathy never attends the post-ride coffees because she is usually left behind when speeds increase during the ride.

A verbal consensus was agreed upon that stated no one is allowed to pee alongside the road anymore if it required removing one’s shorts, squatting or not having a penis.

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