14 Actually Scary Halloween Costumes To Try Instead of Being Racist


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Gone are the days when All Hallows Eve was still all about fear; costumes have been replaced by last-minute closet raids and an endless current of sexy inanimate objects. (Last year I was a sexy traffic cone.)

But the time has come to make Halloween spooky again, but the tried and true costumes have been done to death and the traditionally terrifying require more gore than you may have the budget for. We’ve gathered a list of 14 new Halloween costumes that will really make your skin crawl and stand out in the crowd.

  • Date Who Doesn’t “Get” Why Gentrification is a Bad Thing
  • Your Pet Who Hasn’t Eaten in Two Days
  • Blog Post That Reveals Your Favorite Dead Musician Was Actually a Pedophile
  • Your Dad Moved Out and Now Your Mom Won’t Stop Calling You
  • A Lump on Your Breast
  • Vaping Straight Into Someone’s Unsuspecting Face
  • Boy Who Over-identifies with BoJack Horseman
  • Your Nice Grandmother is Dead and Now You’re Stuck with the Mean One
  • Telling Your Father You Have Chlamydia
  • Couples Costume: Kavanaugh Confirmed AND Roe v Wade Repealed
  • Becoming Your Mother
  • Your Boyfriend’s Secret Wife and Two Children
  • Generations of Disappointed Ancestors Who Didn’t Struggle So Much for You to Go to Art School
  • The Prison Industrial Complex

Get creative with your costume, and happy Halloween-ing!


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