Here at “Build a Scare Workshop,” you’ll work directly with one of our Scare-gineers to design a haunted house guaranteed to terrify your friends and family. Houses are customized to take advantage of each person’s deepest fears for your enjoyment and their horror. Not sure where to begin? We’ve got some ideas to get you started…
Younger Sister Who Got Married First
This house is designed to look just like her reception venue, tacky table centerpieces and all. And there’s you, giving a drunken Maid of Honor speech again, and again, reading directly from her own diary, slam-poetry style.
Each room of this 12-room house is decorated for a significant holiday… but you’re not in any of them. There are your Christmas presents, unopened, and your seat at the Thanksgiving table, un-sat-in. And at the end, is a phone on a table. One missed call: from you. They call you back, but it just. keeps. ringing.
That Guy Who Ghosted You
Ghosts float above him. The way they ignore him is frightening. Maybe now he’ll get the hint.
The MFA Professor Who Said Your Stories Lacked “Plot”
Enter an office. File cabinets line the walls. As he steps inside, they burst open spewing all of the rejection letters he got in his twenties, which is why he’s a bitter teacher who doesn’t know a ground-breaking literary device when he reads it. Also, spiders. He hates spiders.
That Baby Who Cried When You Held Him
Guess who’s crying now? (It’s still the baby.)
Angry Stay At Home Mom Across The Street
It’s an obstacle course full of legos and crying children. They cry, she yells, the cycle never ends. (Actually… This is her real life. Maybe don’t bring her to a haunted house. She could use a hug or some chocolate instead.)
Your Best Girl Friend Who Became Popular And Never Invited You Anywhere, Damaging Your Trust Of Women And Essentially Eliminating Any Hope You Had Of Positive Female Friendships
She enters the room. Through magic, trickery, and two-way mirrors, she can see all her favorite bitches hanging out in another room… but they can’t hear or see her. She begs to be invited, pleading through the glass (It’s really embarrassing). The group laughs and continues making memories without her.