Topless Baking with the Topless Baker

By Victor Pang

baker.png

Hi everyone, it’s your favourite Topless Baker! Remember to like this video and if you haven’t, subscribe to my channel, the button is located on my ripped abs.

I have been so revolutionary in the topless baking arena and I’m going to keep it going! Baking topless has expanded my gastronomic tapestry and these sweet discoveries have added an extra layer of quality into my baking products. Keep your eyes peeled on my rocking body for NEW and NATURAL ingredients. Without further ado, I’ll be teaching you how to make a Naked Drip Cake.

First, put buttercream onto the cake board. This will help give the foundation to the 7 layers for the Naked Drip Cake. I’ve added a secret ingredient to my buttercream, sweat! The moisture of the sweat will give an extra layer of stickiness to hold the cake down. It will give the cream a sweet and salty taste, like popcorn! The sweat is from my triceps, let me flex them for you real hard to give you a very defined view.

(Sarahgirl99 commented: OMG, I would love to try the buttercream! I bet the sweat is really salty because he works out like CRAZY judging from those huge triceps!)

Then, you want to pour some vanilla sugar syrup onto your first layer. And I’ve got such a secret for you guys, there is an extra ingredient in this syrup, spit. It is even better with phlegm, the greener the better. I take them from my Adam’s apple. Do you see it? It should be really easy to see because it’s popping!

(Toplessbakingfan commented: I bet the syrup with his spit and phlegm tastes great! Look at that Adam’s apple, he might as well have his own statue with the rest of the Greek Gods!)

When the 7 layers of chocolate cake are done, it’s time to ice the cake. Buttercream with sweat is simply not enough. I am going to scrape my dry skin out, the drier the better. Mix the dry skin with buttercream before spreading it onto the cake. I personally scrape it from my driest area: my v-lines. It’s where my fingers are rubbing on these sharp distinct muscular curves.

( Bring_1Dback commented: I just know that his dry skin is really healthy because he has super low-fat percentage. HE HAS V-LINES PEOPLE!! Even if it may have brown patches on it!)

Chill in the fridge for 15 minutes. Here comes the fun part, the decoration! Decorate it with an assortment of all-natural ingredients such as chest hair from my bulging chest. I’ll do a chest dance muscle just in case you don’t believe it is really bulging.

(Pretty-pink-me commented: I can tell his chest hair is really good because he does a lot of chess press. It’s basically organic. I can so imagine resting my head on his rock hard chest and licking that chest hair! Definitely better than Nigella Lawson’s rubbish cakes.)

If you are feeling even more adventurous, explore your topless upper body, you can opt for moles, skin rash (I do recommend thin, scaly and crusty ones that are about the size of a pencil eraser), hives, swollen lymph nodes all on my muscular upper body. YUM! Here’s a close-up and a 360 degree spin on my upper body so you can see all the muscular parts.

( mattadlard_mybf4lyfe commented: My ovaries just exploded!!!!! These are genius additions. Why didn’t anyone think of these!? Someone bring him a James Beard Award!)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s