Hi, friends! As you know, October is home to everyone’s favorite drinking-related festival: Cantober Fest: the culturally-significant month-long exploration of canned wines by myself–– oh, I’m amateur internet wine expert Chris Barlow. Maybe I should start over. Ah-hem.
Hi again. It’s me, amateur internet wine expert Chris Barlow. But did you know that I’m also an amateur internet fitness expert? Me neither, but then someone endorsed me for it on LinkedIn so here we are.
Now that Cantober Fest is in full swing I want to share the perfect activity to pair all those delicious canned wines with: The Official Cantober Fest Canned Wine Workout. It’s guaranteed to get you totally ripped and/or a the target of restraining order–– just in time for the holidays!
- 1 can of wine
- 1 small dumbbell or other hand-held weight
- A fitness tracker
- Take off the fitness tracker. You won’t need it.
- Have a seat. Find something to watch on your phone.
- Open the can of wine with a satisfying “ksshh!” sound.
- Pick up the dumbbell.
- With the dumbbell in one hand and the can of wine in the other: Alternate reps lifting the dumbbell and lifting the can to take a sip. Continue until half the can has been consumed or your arm is tired (whichever comes first).
- Switch sides and repeat until can is finished.
- Optional: Crush the empty can with your bare hands, screaming “I’D LIKE TO SEE ADAM RIPPON DO THAT” until Equinox security removes you from the building.
See? Wasn’t that easy? Best of all now you’ve got a buzz on, so whether you’re sobbing in the locker room showers or having an old-fashioned cry at the Starbucks on 59th Street, you’re guaranteed to feel just as good as you look!
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