I, Trey, Will Definitely Try To Swing By Your Wedding This Weekend

food couple sweet married
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Hey man! Crazy running into you – what have you been up to? Oh, of course, it’s your wedding this weekend, the one that I RSVP’ed to six months ago! That’s so exciting! I will definitely, absolutely, try to swing by.

I really appreciate you including me in the small group of close friends and family privileged enough to witness your celebration with Julia on Saturday, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Unless something else came up. I’ve got some balls in the air. But I pledge to you this solemn vow: I will, at the very least, try to make an appearance.

Of course, of course, it means everything to me to be included in your wedding celebration. Your decision to set aside, not just a spot on the guest list, but a seat at your table, and a chunk of your hard-earned income to accommodate my food and drinks for the evening will not go to waste. Unless I wind up opting into one of my other potential plans. Martha – do you remember Martha? Hot Martha? From our freshman year? She was talking about maybe throwing a housewarming party on Saturday, and I heard that she’s single again, so this could be a huge night for me. Oh, right, that would conflict with the wedding. I guess, at the end of the day, we’ll just have to see where I wind up. 

You look a little concerned. Are you ok? Listen, I feel like maybe you’re getting confused, and that’s my fault. Here’s the bottom line: When it comes to your wedding on Saturday, I will stop at nothing, NOTHING, to attempt to shuffle my existing plans around, so that I can try to stop by.

Your wedding ceremony is my top priority this weekend. Of course. When I RSVP’ed over six months ago, I was so happy to reserve this date on my calendar to watch you, one of my best and oldest friends, embark on a lifelong journey of love and commitment. That being said, did I show you the crazy amount of Facebook invites that I’ve been getting for things on Saturday? I’m blowing up, man, and it’s not just Martha’s party! Here, check out my phone – oh, hang on, I’m getting a call, sorry, I just need to take this real quick. Hey, Amanda? Oh my god, Jared’s in town this weekend? That’s crazy! We’ve gotta take him out drinking … yeah, I should be around, do you wanna just meet at my place on Saturday night and go from there? Yeah? Sounds great! I’m actually here with Tom, yeah, just ran into him in the grocery store. What’s that? Yeah, let me check with him and get back to you. Bye.

 Hey man, sorry about that. That was Amanda! She actually wanted me to ask if you wanted to come out with us this weekend? Unless you’ve got something else going on.

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