Questions I Will Be Avoiding From My Parents When I’m Home for Thanksgiving

selective focus photo of red turkey head
Photo by Magda Ehlers on


Hmmm….when was the last time you got your hair highlighted?

Have you found a church that you like?

You’d tell me if you got a tattoo, right?

Do you have any jewels?

What do you mean it’s spelled “juul”?

Is your brother dating that girl still?

Why did your brother block me on Instagram?

When can I watch you do standup?

Why do you look so tired?

How’s your job going?

Are you being “me too’d”?

Did you hear that your friend Olivia got engaged?

You know Mary from my Bible study who has that cute son Ben?

Should I set you and Ben up?

You aren’t on those “apps”, are you?

Who keeps charging Ubers to my credit card?

Who keeps charging Amazon Prime to my credit card?

Someone’s acting moody…do you need me to pick up some tampons?

Why would you want to free your nipple?

How many glasses of wine have you had today?

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