Your Local Pizza Place Unveils Its Latest Viral Food Sensations  

baked pizza on top of black surface near filled glass tankard
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Wow! Look at those cheese pulls! A big Italian welcome to Vinny Vince’s Pizzeria’s latest menu items.

Wild Wild Wing Pizza: Pizza and Wings and BBQ Sauce, Oh My! This pizza has a layer of BBQ sauce, sour cream, cheddar cheese, and is topped with whole chicken wings. Why choose between these American Pizzeria classics? At Vinny Vince’s, you don’t have to choose!

Burratacado Toast: It’s burrata. It’s avocado toast. These are words millennials love: avocado and burrata. So, here’s burrata on avocado toast. We think it’s pretty good, but have you kids tried actual pizza?

Chinese Food Pizza: Chinese food and pizza, together, in the same box, after all this time.

Tacoaboutit Sub: It’s tacos on a sub. We don’t know much about tacos, but we do know about subs here at Vinny Vince’s. This seems unnecessary to us, but we thought young people might like it.

Chicken Parm Sub Wrapped in a Picture of Ariana Grande: Now we KNOW you all like Ariana Grande.

Pizza…with Fish?: This is weird, right? Fish on pizza? Are you paying attention, Food Insider?

Loose Olives: We have a jar of loose olives and are willing to see if it takes off.

Joe, Our Delivery Boy, Sings Real Nice: What, is Joe not good enough for you? He was in a local production of Guys and Dolls!

Spaghetti and Meatballs: Look, we’re out of ideas. What’s wrong with a nice plate of spaghetti and meatballs? It’s my Nonna’s recipe. I still use her pot that she brought from Italy. Look at these huge meatballs! Wait, do you like how huge these meatballs are? Maybe you want to put them on the internet? Giant meatballs for everyone!

Whatever You Want: Just tell us what you want, and we’ll make it. Anything. We need to compete. Wait. You just want pizza? With pepperoni? I knew you kids knew what’s good. See, we’re authentic. We’re traditional. We’re Vinny Vince’s!

(That will be forty-eight dollars, please.)


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