How to Prove You Have Your Life Together Even Though You Just Used Your Sock to Mop Up Marinara Sauce From Your Kitchen Floor

pair of blue socks hanging
Photo by Susanne Jutzeler on

Listen, we’ve all been there. Who amongst us hasn’t been making pasta and spilled some off-brand marinara sauce on our kitchen floor? Sometimes, you just can’t make it all the way to the closet with the Swiffer, and you happen to be wearing extra absorbent socks. You may have just ruined a pair of socks in favor of not walking 3 feet to get a mop, but that doesn’t matter. You do not need to let the marinara sauce stain on the bottom of your foot define who you are. You can still prove everything is going great in your life with just a few easy steps.

  1. Change Your Socks

The first step of appearing like you’re holding everything together and definitely not eating pasta sauce with a spoon and calling it soup is to put on new socks. Get rid of that red tomato stained ones as soon as you can. If you change your socks before anyone can see them, it’s like it never happened. Also, if you wear those socks out you’re going to walk around smelling like marinara sauce all day and that’s not who you want to be. Correction – it’s not who you are. Just change them

  1. Take A Shower

Get rid of that marinara sauce smell by hopping in the shower and freshening up. Try using a strong floral soap that will mask the distinct scent of canned tomatoes and Italian seasoning. Make sure you clean off all the garlicky tomato paste that soaked through your sock and onto the bottom of your foot. Pretty soon you will be smelling good and no one will be able to know that you have gone through at least 3 different pairs of socks cleaning up pasta sauce spills.

  1. Start Wearing Sandals

Sandals are a cute and fun way to finish off an outfit! Plus, wearing sandals means you won’t be wearing socks, therefore forcing you into actually clean up spills instead of just rubbing it around with your disgusting Target brand crew socks. It’s like conditioning your brain so that, even when you are wearing socks, you’ll feel capable of getting a real mop.

  1. Switch to Pesto

Pesto is a slightly healthier alternative to traditional marinara pasta sauce. Pesto also isn’t as brightly colored so the stain won’t be as obvious when you mop it up with your socks. Plus, pesto is delicious and looks as good as it tastes. You can send pictures to your friends and make them jealous of your cooking skills.. Some of them might even think you made it from scratch and compliment your cooking skills!  

  1. Get a Pair of Those Mop Bottom Slippers You Saw on Facebook

Actually….no, don’t. If you’re genuinely considering spending real money on a pair of those ugly slippers with absorbent pads on them, it’s already too late. You might as well just give up now cause you are obviously broken as a person and there’s no hiding it.

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