If People Talked About Romaine Lettuce the Way They Talk About Gun Rights

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  • Making romaine lettuce illegal isn’t going to stop bad guys from getting romaine lettuce and making Caesar Salads while the good guys are left with nothing but arugula.
  • The only way to stop a bad guy from force-feeding you romaine lettuce is a good guy force-feeding him romaine lettuce.
  • Romaine lettuce doesn’t hurt people. People putting romaine lettuce into pre-made salads hurt people.
  • Someone should tell the FDA, CDC, and their state partners to stay in their own lanes. Half of their reports push for not eating romaine lettuce at all. Most upsetting, however, these agencies seem to consult NO ONE but themselves.
  • Most research into romaine lettuce outbreaks is inconclusive anyway, for legal reasons.
  • We don’t need to recall romaine lettuce because of E. coli. We need to teach the younger generations how to wash lettuce properly and responsibly use salad spinners.
  • The right to eat romaine lettuce is to make sure people are equipped with vitamin K in case the government halts the production of band-aids and we need to protect our ability to form blood clots.
  • The liberals just want to take away my romaine lettuce so they can blend them into green smoothies.
  • There is no such thing as romaine lettuce contamination. Romaine lettuce is just a vegetable. What the left refuses to address are fevers, abdominal pain, feeling very tired, decreased frequency of urination, small unexplained bruises or bleeding, pallor, acute renal failure, hypertension, chronic kidney disease, and neurological problems. Romaine lettuce isn’t contaminated. People are.
  • Eating romaine lettuce is not all about eating greens. It is about the government not having the right to take away produce sold at grocery stores and forcing you to buy from their salad bars. Any and all produce are protected under this (yes, even fruits). No exceptions.
  • If banning one journalist is a violation of the first amendment, then banning even one vegetable is a violation of the constitutional right to eat what’s legally edible.
  • This is all because of the Obama-era initiative back when Michelle brainwashed kids into being health-conscious about what they consume.
  • It took the FDA and CDC 7 days to pinpoint the source of contamination in California. That’s 7 entire days the nation was left unprotected from romaine lettuce in order to cater to the left’s food safety policies. It’s time to stop leaving innocent people defenseless. If just one person had all the romaine lettuce he wanted, then maybe 65 people would have had the option for spinach.

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