7:30 a.m. Wake up and get right out of bed!
7:40 a.m. Decide to tackle that big project right away.
7:41 a.m. But first, make yourself a smoothie.
8:00 a.m. You could start working on your big project while drinking your smoothie, but your body doesn’t absorb nutrients unless you really focus on it.
8:30 a.m. Finish your smoothie.
8:31 a.m. It’s time to start the project!
8:32 a.m. But first, check Twitter.
9:30 a.m. You only got through four hours’ worth of angry political tweets and it’s already time for the gym!
10:30 a.m. Decide to take a second gym class so you’re extra sharp when you start working on your big project!
11:30 a.m. Finish your second class. Wonder if you should a) get to work on your big project or b) keep riding this endorphin high and run a whole marathon right now in the middle of a Tuesday!
11:31 a.m. Decide to go home and start working on your big project.
11:32 a.m. But first, pick up a prescription you won’t need until three months from now.
11:45 a.m. Time to get home and start your big project! But on the way, you should sign up for health insurance.
1:00 p.m. You signed up for health insurance and it’s only going to cost $900 a month!
1:15 p.m. Shower.
1:18 p.m. Clean your shower.
1:45 p.m. It’s time to start your big project. But first, lunch!
1:35 p.m. You could make a simple sandwich and get to work on your big project. Or you could spend a mere two hours making soup, which you can eat for lunch for the rest of the week, ultimately saving yourself time.
1:45 p.m. Go to the grocery store.
2:45 p.m. Go to a fourth grocery store.
3:15 p.m. Make yourself a sandwich because it’s late and the soup won’t be ready for a while.
3:30 p.m. It’s soup time!
5:30 p.m. Now that you’re done making soup, it’s time to start working on your big project!
5:31 p.m. Sit down to work on your big project!
5:32 p.m. Start working on a small project that isn’t due for two months instead.
6:30 p.m. Finish your small project!
6:31 p.m. Now that you’re done with your small project, you can start working on your big project!
6:32 p.m. Suddenly get an idea for how to cure cancer.
7:30 p.m. You cured cancer!
7:31 p.m. Now that you’ve cured cancer, you can start working on your big project.
7:32 p.m. But first, you should make dinner. Theoretically, you could eat the soup for dinner, then start working on your big project, but you made the soup for lunch, so it would be better to make something else for dinner.
9 p.m. Finish making your elaborate dinner!
10 p.m. Finish eating your elaborate dinner (it was a salad, they take forever to eat).
10:15 p.m. Sit down to start work on your big project!
10:16 p.m. Decide now is a good time to run that marathon.
1:30 a.m. Finish running a marathon!
1:45 a.m. Shower.
1:48 a.m. Clean your shower (again).
2 a.m. Now that you’ve finished all your other work, run a full marathon and cured cancer, you can finally sit down and get to work on your big project!
2:01 a.m. Realize that, after such a long and productive day, it would be best to go to bed and get a good night’s sleep so you can get up early to work on your big project!
2:02 a.m. Start reading a book you’ve had on your bedside table for months.
6 a.m. Finish the book!
6:01 a.m. Finally go to bed so you can get some sleep. After all, tomorrow (today!) you have to start your big project…right after you become the first woman to walk on the moon!