On the Internet: Comment on people’s silly Instagram posts with a generous “hahaha!”
In person: Never laugh.
On the Internet: Reply to comments on your Facebook status with a “Thanks for the love.”
In person: Never show affection.
On the Internet: Post a filtered picture of you frolicking in a thong on the beach.
In person: Fear the water and the air.
On the Internet: Write a viral article about being sociable at parties.
In person: Never confront your agoraphobia.
On the Internet: Tweet an inspiring quote about self care.
In person: Refuse to wash when sad.
On the Internet: Post a pic of you smiling at a mall food court.
In person: Have food allergies no one wants to hear about.
On the Internet: Post a lot of romantic looking pictures of you and your friend Dave.
In person: Don’t let anyone touch you for a decade.